Wow. I just read the review of my diary, and I did better than I thought I would. I'm not really sure why I needed the validation of having this little page reviewed. Consciously I was telling myself that perhaps I could get a few more readers if I could get a decent (or very bad) review, but the more I think about it, the more I begin to doubt that. It's probably more along the lines of wanting to get some kind of feedback other than Jen and Kerry. After all, they are the ones who usually speak up when I actually do something good (as rare as that may be). Perhaps I'm looking for suggestions on things I could do better, because I'm very rarely satisfied with the things I write. Whatever the reason, there it is. I ask the few readers I have to go look at it. It certainly made my evening, although some of the things I was rated highest for aren't my doing. The HTML design after all, is Jen's. Heck, if it weren't for Jen, I wouldn't have started this diary in the first place. It would have been one more never finished pet project.
Now it's time for one of my rants, because I just reminded myself of something. One of the reasons I continue to write poetry is because it's the only medium that I find myself having the attention span to finish. And if you haven't noticed, I don't always do that. It's easy for me to write down my rambling chain of thoughts in a free-verse format, and call it poetry. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something, even though all I really did was go on a bunch of different tangents in my head and write them all down.
While were on the subject let's write down tonight piece shall we?
--------------------------
Don't judge them
Don't ever think you would have been better
In thier situations
Just because all you ever see of me
Is the half-crazed romantic
I pretend to be in front of a microphone
Just in case you haven't gotten the point by now
I'm not that easy to get along with
I know I have this disgusting tendancy
To be over-sexed and under-sensitive
And I'll be damned if I'm not
One of the worst boyfriends
In all of history
Somehow I think
Medea would be better off
To stick with Jason
Then to come near me
While I tend to be a little more than faithful
In the physical sense
My mind can race to a hundred different
Women I've met
When I'm away from the one I'm with
And away doesn't always have to mean physically
I've had a history of
Trying to hide things
From my significant others as well
As I'm not talking about presents
These things have always
Started out small
Little tiny embarasing things
Because I think she might think less of me
And sometimes it will get
A little bigger
A lot of unnecessary subterfuge
When being honest
Would have only hurt my ego
And we all can stand
To have that knocked down
Every now and again
I'm also almost to the point
Of Megalomania on a few subjects
And I've been known
To fefuse to be wrong
I know that most of you
Are not used to hearing this kind of
Throat-slitting frankness
From a so-called poet
But sometimes even non-Catholics
Need a confessional
When the wars between
Your logic and emotions
Start to get nuclear
And sometimes you have to defend
Those who hurt you
On a matter of principle
After all it's been said that
You should never judge another
Until you've been where they are
I'm just trying to save all of you
The horror
Of having to deal with me
On that sort of level
~MattMagus
p.s. Once again this isn't quite as good as it was when I first came up with the idea a few hours ago, damn me for not getting a mini tape recorder yet.~M
