2001-05-03

Another day goes by, and I realize that I don't have an origional bone in my body. I keep hearing the whispers of forgotten failures, telling me to stop this search for the creative force in each of us. I really hate being reminded of past mistakes however, so I'm going to continue doing whatever it is I do just to spite them. I really hate it when I have a poem stuck in my head for days, but it comes in fragments so I can never write it down as a whole. I also really hate when I make qabbalistic references or jokes (usually both) and no one gets it, or if they think they do it makes them uncomfortable... as if I was talking about thier mother dying of cancer. People who take either themselves, mysticism, or the concept of diety too seriously really irk me as well. Goddess and Jesus freaks beware, Matt is on the warpath tonight. My weapons are comments about spilling "blood" upon your altars, and snide remarks about how your deities are respectively incomplete. To my fellow Thelemites, religion is NOT an excuse for you to get laid, despite what beastly Uncle Al said to the contrary, and women DO have souls (as twisted as some of them may be). "Do what thou Wilt" is not an excuse for indulging your whims, despite who you might hurt in the process. "Love under Will" does not mean you can fuck anything that moves. In fact, after a while you begin to realize that"Love is Will". You have to understand both concepts in their purest forms, did not the master say "Thou must become as a child to enter my Kingdom (crown)". Don't believe everything Al ever said, but don't believe anything I'm saying either, because when it's all said and done, none of these words mean anything.

Shit!!!! Sorry about that, but I haven't gone on a good Matt rant about mysticism in a while, so every now and again you'll have to bear with me. I prefer pissing people off when I talk about such things as well. I find that this challenges them to discover truths (of a sort) for themselves, just so they may make witty comebacks. So bite me.

~M

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