I've been singing this song
It's time it was sung
I've been puttin' it off for a while
But it's harder by now
'Cause the truth isn't clear
But I cry when I'm seein' you smile
--Tom Waits "Old Shoes and Picture Postcards"
As much as I wish to
I can't be what you want right now
And as much as it hurts us both
I have to put as much distance between
Us as I can
Because I can't watch
While you actively search for
What it is you think you need
I can't watch
Knowing that whatever it is
You are looking for
It's not me
And two years of history between us
Can't keep you from following what you feel
And so, being near you right now
Knowing that I'll never be able
To truely hold you again
Like I used to
Hurts me more than I've
Ever thought possible
As much as words are my gift
I can't even begin to describe
What watching you seek another
Has done to me
And I'm sorry I can't
Be there to comfort you
While you fumble through
Fields of people in search
Of the Lover you need
I wish I could have a crying
Fit right here in this bar
One big bawling mess of a jew
In the corner
At least that way I think
I Could get most of it out with
One big explosion
Of salt-water and mucus
But this is one of those
Sadnesses that drags you behind its
Car for a while before it lets
You get up to dust yourself off
And heal your wounds
