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2003-08-26

Trapped my thoughts in non-exisance for a little last night. Interesting, but the idea of negating every thought with it's contradiction seemed a little difficult at first. Out of force of habit, tried to picture nothing, which of course is sily, because there is nothing to picture, nothing to sense at all. Forgetting my senses is by far the hardest part, and the only that I never fully succeeded in accomplishing. Perhaps I should master asana before I attempt this any further. Still it was an interesting exercise in futility that left me thinking in the third person for a while. Kept calling myself "it" in my mind though, rather then "he". There is something important there, in a weird sort of way. It was almost as if the thing in my head (which remember, is still me, in a sense, just without the concept of "I") had no concept of gender. Ultimately I think in a way I might have been fooling myself, but this is also interesting in that for a short time, I was fooled completely. If nothing else, the exercise allowed me to put certain emotions that were plauging me into perspective, as to just how unimportant they really are.

I probably am not supposed to put this sort of thing here for everyone to read, but since I have said nothing as to the actual precedure used, nor do I actually "belong" to any organizations, there can be no real harm done by it.

If this little exercise can ever be perfected, I can already see just from my limited experience with it all sorts of uses for perspective changing. Which as anyone with any understanding knows is the basis for all workings. You see if, somewhere in there nothing indeed exists, then outside of that perspective all things are possible, in some extent or another, but it is all unimportant from that perspective. Unimportant because it doesn't really exist, and I think this may be the danger of this exercise, now that I've thought of it. Or maybe the opposite, or both or neither, ultimately I realize that I probably shouldn't worry about it.

~Matt Magus

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