Jesus I need to talk to someone other then people I used to care about 2006-07-20
This is one of those nights When lonliness hits you like a brick in the gut And now I sound like a movie detective From the 40's she asked me once How I manage to stay alone And why I can't do The one night stand thing Just to occupy my mind I told her It's because I refuse to settle And because one night is never enough But there's something else too Something I didn't mention You see Unless I'm placed in the right situation I'm more shy then a fugitive from justice To whom every person they meet Could be a cop I am usually unable to make the leap Into group conversations Because I like to listen To what others might have to say And I have a hard time Approaching anyone For the first time Once I'm able to get over that hump I'm pretty good at one-on-one conversations And from then on I can Get over my fears and just be me For all that that's worth But until then I float around in a nebula of self-doubt And can't even ask someone I admire If they want to have coffee and talk sometime And there's this whole stupid new dating vocabulary that I don't pretend to understand at all I also don't want To make a show of myself Because eventually the truth Will rule out anyway And I'd rather be upfront about who I am It's easier that way And you don't have people Falling in love with phantasm fantasies ~M
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